Blog #2

Kaitlyn Petrando

Amiso George

Blog #2

April 3, 2014

Work out. Get big. Pump Iron. Get Swole. They all mean the same thing: dying. Dying an extremely long, hot, sweaty, blistery, swollen, death. To most normal people (including myself) this sounds like an extremely miserable process. And then there are those that I like to call the “toothpicks.” You know the ones, they get on the treadmill with a head to toe lulu lemon outfit, run 10 miles, and hop off without a bead of sweat or a misplaced hair. I’m going to be one of them one day.

Thus far on my “trek to toothpick,” as I like to call it, I’ve learned multiple things. Lesson number one: look at yourself enough in the mirror before you go so that you’re not “that girl” checking herself out in front of the free weights. Lesson number two: never wear makeup at the gym, when you start crying on the stair master and mascara is streaming down your face, everyone knows you were crying and not sweating. Lesson number three: use as many bobby pins as it takes to keep every stray hair in place. Lesson number four: create a playlist on your phone strictly for working out otherwise when you and your ex-boyfriend’s song comes on while bench-pressing you’re not in for a minor skull crush. Lesson number five (this is an important one): at no point in time, and I mean NO point in time, is it appropriate to take a selfie while flexing in the mirror at the gym. Never. Nope. I know it’s tempting, but trust me on this one because I learned it the hard way.

On top of my “trek to toothpick” lessons, I’ve also picked up a few pro tips to becoming the next Arnold Schwarzenegger. How-you may ask? I met him. That’s right, I met him. Arnold and I became real close when I was in LA for vacation a few years ago. My friend dragged my lazy butt to the gym and somewhere between mile 3 and 5 when I was puking near the side of the track, none other than good ole Arnie (that’s what I call him now) stopped to hold back my hair (this is where the bobby pin lesson was learned.) Anyway, that whole story was a lie. But I did see his movie “Pumping Iron” and that’s where I learned these next few tips: 1. Don’t do steroids. 2. If you do steroids, always wear a Speedo to lift. 3. Men are so much more attractive with accents.

Tune in next week when I’ll be sharing my thoughts on group activities at the gym. Until then, stay fit, my friends.