A Tale of the Winter Soup

What I have to share is a comical food experience that took place in my kitchen a few days ago. First I have to explain that I do NOT like squash. End of story. I don’t like the texture, the way it tastes, really anything about it...So when my roommate, Cal, came home from the grocery store last week with several of them, I shot her a look filled with sheer disgust. She had this crazy idea to make homemade butternut squash soup to spark “a cozy night”, as she said. I told her right off the bat that I would refuse to eat it.
Cal was in the kitchen for hours preparing the squash to bake in the oven before transferring them to the pot of boiling broth. I was initially annoyed by the fact that she made a disgusting mess (she never cleans the kitchen). If you’re thinking that I am going to tell you I loved the soup, you’re wrong. It took about a day and a half for her to cook it, and by the time she was done she had gone completely overboard with the ingredients. Garlic salt, balsamic vinegar, sour cream, and many more condiments that I refuse to think about went into that pot of mashed up squash.
I wasn’t all that surprised since she tends to get pretty experimental when she cooks. By the time she finished her masterpiece, she had forced everyone that walked in our house that night to taste-test it. My poor friends. She ended up being the only one who ate it.
And you know what the worst part about it was? She left the soup on the stove for 4 days (with no refrigeration and no lid) and she ate it for lunch and dinner EVEN when it was left out to sit for all that time. I felt sick to my stomach every time I watched her scoop it in her bowl and shove it in the microwave as if she was about to experience the most tasty meal of her life. She’s a character.
My other roommate, who is basically a comedian, remarked, “I swear she’s going to make herself sick if she keeps eating it!” Anyways, I wish I could say it was delicious and I loved it, but I can’t. Moral of this story is that my friends and I all got a big kick out of it and I was certainly entertained by her attempt to cook this odd-choice of a winter soup.
--Christine Bathke